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Sorry I have been out of touch (so to speak) for the last week- I have been in the hospital recovering from a severe flare up of my Ulcerative Colitis health condition. I was finally discharged today, however I am still recovering and will not return to work until Monday. I have over all been in good spirits and I am just happy to be out of the hospital so I can get some actual rest. Truth be told you don't get much rest in the hospital with nurses coming in all the time and I had some roommates that would have company ALL day causing lots of20noise. I am feeling MUCH better, and itching to be active again. I have a ton of things that needs to get done, but I know I need to not be so active and just relax. I have been fortunate to have some good friends here in Louisville helping take care of me and coming to see me most everyday. They would also bring me things i needed, including underwear- imagine 2 gay guys shopping for women's underwear- totally funny.

My cats, of course were none too happy that I was gone so long, they made a nice mess of the house... but the toilet paper was in tact surprisingly. Felix is giving me the cold shoulder, but Hobbes has already been very loving showing that he missed me. But when i first got home all Hobbes wanted was the flowers that I have received, i have had to lock him out of the room where they are.
So Im alive I should be greatful for that... What am I talking about? I drove into a ditch today after fishtaling and doing a 360 on I71 on that curve after the split for I264. It was raining and I must have been going too fast around the curve. I was lucky that there were no other cars around. And I am happy to say that I was NOT transporting any chn at the time- I was actually on my way to get a ch. Anyway- My morning was already bad before this, I over slept, and was running late to my previous mtg. I left my cell phone at home. Also after the acident I only had my work cell phone and it didnt have service at the location because of the stone walls all around... oh right i didnt mention them. I was also lucky that my car did NOT hit the stone walls. The guy with the tow truck said that I was really lucky because if I did hit the walls my car would probably totalled. A few cars stopped to see if I was okay, and I rode with a family to the next exit (the Summit) to get help. Turns out that my battery also died while I was waiting for the tow truck. And once at the dealership, we pulled 3 nails out of my driver's side rear tire (I mentioned to them that the tire was low). Also I had to pay $109 for the tow truck/time even though im covered under warrenty and I have roadside assistance (which is how I got the tow truck). The man didnt know why roadside assistance waas making me pay, so I have to request a reimbursement.

Over all this has been a crappy day.

This was after a lonely weekend...

I am here in Louisville all alone- or so it seems. Saturday was a bad night for me because I felt like I had nobody here in Louisville, which isnt true, but I couldnt get ahold of anyone to spend time with. Candice is now in Canton, OH for her internship; and we dont know when she will be able to come down here or vice versa. Night time is the worst for me because I am home alone with the cats and it becomes very lonely fast. I am having a hard time sleeping right now- I keep waking up throughout the night and I wake up in the morning feeling like I havent slept. I have difficulty falling asleep at night and I am tired all day. I have bags under my eyes. I dont know if I attribute all this to Candice being gone; I think part of it is because I am sad because everyone is leaving me (here in Louisville I mean). Our Pastor and her family have left, the David's are moving away, and part of me knows that June doesnt have much time either. These are all people that have helped make living in Louisville better, and they are all people that I spend a lot of time with. When the David's do leave I'm going to be devistated because they are like big brothers and I am ALWAYS over there or spending time with them.
I thought that if I were to get a dog that at least I would have some more company. But Candice has vetoed that idea. Even though she promised that we could get a dog for my birthday- 2 years ago- and even after my begging and pleading... NO dog. I dont agree with all her reasoning, however the only valid point that she has is that she wouldnt be a part on the puppy's life to bond with it (like with Felix). Grrr she wins!! BUT i found the perfect dog, especially since we dont have a yard, it is a beagle/mix, a very small dog. It will be smaller than the average size beagle. It is a puppy so it can learn to know that the cats are boss and the cats can learn to like her. She doesnt have the beagle howl... and she is oh so cute. She is crate trained. For a few days I was going to get the dog anyway, but Candice told me she wouldnt be able to trust me and she would be very very mad... yadda yadda yadda...

Anyway, no dog, and I am very upset about this and I tell her everytime I talk to her.
one of my ex boyfriends' got married over the weekend, to someone I thought I was friends with. M and I always had a strong attraction to each other, but I could never bring myself to be fully with him (emotionally). I had a hard time talking to him, which was always my problem with people until I met C. M and J make a good couple and I am happy for them, but there has always been a part of me wishing I still had M. Not that I want him, I think it is that I know he liked me for so long and even when he and J first started dating he wanted to be with me, that some part of me feels like he was always mine. But I suppose he wasn't. J was always very jealous of me, even when I had moved on and was madly in love with C, J never seemed to trust M and me alone. I can honestly say that since he has been with her we have never kissed or fooled around. By that point it was never about that, we always remained good friends. I have noticed that the longer he has been with J, the farther apart we have become, we barely even talk now. I wasnt even invited to the wedding- that was J probably.
I started a new job- less stressed!!
actually I will not be online other than to check my email for a while. Not until I have finished reading book 7 of Harry Potter. If you are a fan of the books you will understand. We waited in line for hours last night to get our book- I have read the first chapter, and the last line of the book. That is it, because I am rereading book 5, and want to reread book 6 before starting book 7. I have made up my mind! You are welcome to make comments, but I wont read them until I finish the book.... Georgia! ;) Also I don't have a lot of time to spend reading- I have so much work to do... for my JOB! Yes people I do work. So feel free to call me- but I have forewarned you- no talking about Harry Potter to me (CANDICE) I DO NOT want to know what happens, or WHO dies!!!
check out this site if your a harry potter fan :)
so I saw my therapist today... yes because I have some serious issues. Anyway today it felt like make Aubria cry day. I pretty much cried the entire time. We talked about me health, which is getting worse... but that was not what made me cry it was the other topic. My anxiety... she made it very clear that I am always anxious about pleasing others, what others think about me, and making others like me. I am always at some level anxious, so I am never calm and it wears me down. We determined that I can make the best of any situation even if i dont want to do it or my feelings dont matter... This goes back to when I was a kid when I was abandoned by my mother after being exposed to drugs, having my cat killed by being stepped on and basically neglected in everyway (i might as well have been abused). And then when my parents decieded to go to saudi and leave me behind, again making me feel abandoned, forcing me to go to LAS without even asking me how I felt, or going back on their promise of letting me complete my sophomore year in Scituate, MA... As I pointed out- I loved it at LAS and I had a blast. My therapist asked me if I have ever done anything just because I wanted to or even if someone else disapproved... the only thing I could come up with was playing rugby/ sports. Later after thinking about it more, I realized that I bought a house and a car even though others didnt think it was a good idea. I am comfortable with my sexuality, even though a lot of people in the US are not ok with who I am.
Excerpts from a Dog's Diary*
>8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
>9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
>9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
>10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
>12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
>1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
>3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
>5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
>7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
>8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
>11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
>* Excerpts from a Cat's Diary*
>Day 983 of my captivity.
> >My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
> >They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed
> >hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the
> >rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to
> >keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of
> >escape.
> >
> >In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I
> >decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had
> >hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly
> >demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made
> >condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am.
> >Bastards! They don't understand my power!
> >
> >There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was
> >placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event.
> >However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my
> >confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this
> >means, and how to use it to my advantage.
> >
> >Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my
> >tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this
> >again tomorrow-but at the top of the stairs.
> >
> >I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and
> >snitches.The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released -
> >and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.
> >The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the
> >guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors
> >have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is
> >safe...for now...
LAS New York Reunion
When: 6 - 8:00 p.m.
Saturday March 31st, 2007

Where: Swizz Manhattan
310 West 53rd Street
(between 8th & 9th)
New York, NY
Telephone 212 810-4444

Cost: $25
(LAS is subsidizing half of the $50 cost. Donations to the LAS Scholarship Fund are welcome.)

Sample Menu: Raclette, cheese tray, vegetable Crudite, wine and beer.

RSVP online
by March 24, 2007
or email Mrs. Mei-ling Klein
so Candice and I went to Washington for the christmas holiday. We stayed in Seattle for a few days with my Aunt and did touristy things, then we drove to the eastern part of the state to visit my parents. We rented a car and drove across the state. While at my parents house, my sister, dad and I took a ski trip for a day. Mackenzie and I snowboarded, it is only the second time I have snowboarded since leaving LAS- unfortunately- and so I spend much of the time falling- tends to happen. It is like re learning. But I had a good time. Mackenzie is still learning to Snowboard- so I would classify her as a beginner- but she is coming along really well- after a few more times she should be able to handle some harder trails. Dad tends to try and push her to more difficult trails then she is ready for. Dad and I went to look at some cars...

All work and no play... wait that isnt right... well it seems to be what life is like for me. Anyway, I had to bring alot of work with me on the trip to catch up.

Anyway we had to leave my house on xmas day to drive to Seattle to catch our flight on the 26th; however if we knew our flight would be delayed and then we would not be able to make our connection to Louisville we may have changed our plans. We stayed in a hotel in Seattle on xmas and I was sick all night. our flight was at 12:25, we arrived there at 9 am; we didnt leave Seattle until 10:40 pm... we flew all night and arrived in Louisville at 10:40 am on the 27th. we took a taxi home and I had to call into work.

The kitties were bad while we were gone- they ate through the cearal box, the bread, they somehow got the scissors onto the stairs, they broke my clay parrot (i made it)... there was cat hair everywhere...